How to succeed in Library management : a new vocabulary

I have become aware of the lack of les mots justes for certain situations when writing about libraries, so I offer the following.  I hope you will find them useful, feel free to add your own.

Acupuncture – Proving to an irate and pompous patron that yes, that fine is quite correct

Ballweb – An application which will be of little use 6 months from now

 

Dustbowl – Unfortunate consequence of handling a brittle book 

 

Emphalibbing – Making It Quite Clear that you do More Than Stamp Books

Furstacker – The junior member of staff sent down to the basement 

 

Gaberdine - A style of presentation at conferences usually adopted by those who didn't rehearse their talk

Gin Alley – the route staff take around the library when closing down

 

Hollinesia – Leaving your email vacation message switched on after you are back at work

Introsunk – That induction session didn't go too well

Kittiwake – the moment you realise you've made a small error in a catalogue record

Leerwinkle -Suspicion that this visitor to the Library is not all he seems

 

Mehtsar – A less than inspiring leader

Negligee – A management statement designed to smooth over a blunder but which only succeeds in attracting more attention

 

Overdididiligence – Spending ten minutes looking through pages of sub-divisions in Dewey, only to find that the whole number is adequate

Rupert – a generic term for all male rare books librarians

 

Solo – having to drop to all fours to reach a book from the bottom shelf

Smuggle – the secret pleasure of not endorsing a colleague on Linked in

Sticker – The member of staff who still doesn’t quite get all this web stuff 

 

Treacle – Descriptive language used by management to cover a new process which also renders it unrecognisable to those who are actually working on it

Tricksheet – A set of instructions containing a deliberate error

 

Vistartle - The sudden appearance in the Library of a wealthy donor/senior member of management staff/group of 50 schoolchildren, about which you knew nothing

Whivvering – The feeling you get in a meeting when a decision is reached that you don’t agree with but you don’t know why

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Thanks to Andy Priestner who sent these invaluable additions (not sure what kind of meetings he goes to) : 

Diddlesquatting - tweeting during an enquiry desk late duty cos you're too burnt out and tired for anything else

Futilorum - a long pointless meeting at which no actions are recorded whatsoever

Goadflam - a person who deliberately provokes the chair of a meeting
  
Oopsraffle - forgetting to award promised prizes to users who filled in the annual library survey

Twiddling - animatedly advocating the research value of Twitter

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Previously in How to succeed in library management:

Communication
How I work 
Meetings
Strategic planning
Time management